Pages

51 Easy Steps to Get Your Kid to Eat Dinner

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

51 Easy Steps to Get Your Kid to Eat Dinner

We've all had these days as parents. Hopefully this handy guide can help get you through your next dinnertime. Just remember these 51 easy steps to get your kid to eat!

1. Start cooking a healthy dinner for your family.

2. Remember your child refuses to come within five feet of one ingredient you used in the dinner and child will use their special abilities to sense that ingredient.

3. Throw chicken nuggets in the microwave for your child to eat instead.

4. Call your family to dinner.

5. Call your child to dinner.

6. Put food on the table.

7. Call your child to dinner.

8. Ask your child where their pants are and tell them they can’t come to the dinner table with no pants on.

9. Tell your child to go wash their hands.

10. Dish up plates being careful not to let any food even give the appearance as if it has touched any other food.

11. Bite your tongue when your child says they don’t like dinner before they actually know what it is.

12. Sit down with your family to eat.

13. Tell your child to go wash their hands with soap this time.

14. Tell your child to sit down and eat.

15. Go get your child the “correct” superhero cup to drink out of.

16. Say a silent prayer begging for your child to actually eat dinner this time.

17. Think about taking your first bite of food.

18. Tell your child to sit down and eat.

19. Go get washcloth to clean up spill on the table.

20. Tell your child they can’t have seconds until they eat their vegetables.

21. Go get dog to clean up vegetables on the floor.

22. Think about taking your first bite of food again.

23. Tell your children to stop touching each other.

24. Remind your child that they ate the same vegetable two days ago and loved it.

25. Threaten to show your child video evidence of them eating the same vegetable two days ago and loving it.

26. Take first bite of lukewarm food.

27. Tell your child that they aren’t done with dinner after three bites and may not be excused.

28. Tell your child to sit down and eat.

29. Ask your family what their favorite part of the day was.

30. Tell your child that stealing the toy from their sister doesn’t count.

31. Reassure your child that the microscopic spot on the vegetables is not poisonous.

32. Go heat up your food in the microwave.

33. Tell your child that they won’t get dessert if they don’t finish their dinner.

34. When your child asks what is for dessert, respond that it’s a surprise.

35. Search around for something resembling a dessert that you hadn’t planned on serving.

36. Find hidden stash of leftover Halloween candy from 2012 for dessert.

37. Tell yourself that your dinner is just as good cold as it would have been hot.

38. Open vegetable negotiations with your child.

39. Make mental note to Google "how to register for debate classes at local college."

40. Wipe away tears on face from intense negotiations.

41. Wipe child’s face as well.

42. Decide your child must eat four out of seven pieces of vegetables.

43. Go get candy and put it on a plate by your child as motivation.

44. Go to mental happy place when child starts gagging.

45. Resort to feeding your child like a baby with airplane noises included.

46. After three pieces of vegetables, realize it will take approximately two hours and forty-seven minutes for them to eat the last bite.

47. Let them have half the dessert, convince yourself it’s a victory for you, and have them get ready for bed.

48. Eat the other half of dessert yourself.

49. Tell yourself you will have more willpower tomorrow.

50. Open up a bottle of wine and pour yourself a glass.

51. Put glass aside and drink straight from the bottle instead.

There you have it. Dinnertime is so much easier now, right? Just remember, “This too shall pass.” Or so people who don’t have small children at meals like to tell you. Which steps did I forget? Let me know in the comments below!


#Fatherhood

24 comments:

  1. Oh gosh I hope this isn't what's in store for me! My son will be 2 next month and he is HORRIBLE with food. He down-rite REFUSES to eat anything that's not sweet! Every now and then he will eat a few chicken nuggets or some mac and cheese but no other foods have ever gotten past a taste. I thank God for toddlers vitamins, and fruit!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh god. Both funny AND painful to read. Been there, still there. Pass the wine!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now that we're just past the 1 year mark, I'm starting to see these steps take place more and more. Except for #50, I'm a bourbon or beer guy most of the time!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Much funnier when reading about it than when going through it. I know! Good stuff Beau.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Larry, I know every parent goes through this at some point!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think by the time my oldest son is out of it my youngest son will be there. Thanks for reading Brent!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hopefully you can continue with that. I have three kids and sometimes you just have days like this!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This garnered a true LOL from me, though I likely won't be laughing in about 6 hours while it's happening in my house. Great post, Beau.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jay its always funny, until you're in the middle of the battle!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You're right Neal, it really is an organic process. Sometimes you run through all 51 steps 2-3 times in a day (or even night)!

    ReplyDelete
  11. i really thankful for this post. you cover all points of the review of Reusable food pouch

    ReplyDelete
  12. You must live in my house because this is precisely what goes on! Painful (and funny when it's NOT dinner time!)!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks Justin! Glad to know I'm not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Aw, this was an extremely good post. Taking the time and actual effort to make a good article?but what can I say?I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done. Feel free to visit my website;
    야설

    ReplyDelete
  15. Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely feel this web site needs much more attention. I’ll probably be back again to see more, thanks for the info! Feel free to visit my website;
    한국야동

    ReplyDelete
  16. You should be a part of a contest for one of the highest quality sites online. I will highly recommend this website! Feel free to visit my website; 국산야동

    ReplyDelete
  17. Everything is very open with a really clear explanation of the challenges. It was definitely informative. Your website is extremely helpful. Thanks for sharing! Feel free to visit my website;
    일본야동


    ReplyDelete
  18. There are different restrictions you may have. For aip meal delivery example, if you aren’t into meat dishes and have different dietary limitations, it’s better to follow a low-fat vegan diet for weight loss. This is an excellent alternative for many people who try to look and be healthier. So let’s see the benefits of testing the vegan weightloss diet.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Because synthesis papers are essentially informational, it is critical to describe how the obtained facts interact in the context of the topic under consideration. You should demonstrate both similarities and variations in the approaches taken by various sources to the topic. Students are frequently required to give contrasting viewpoints as well as a refutation of the opposing argument in argumentative synthesis essay themes. Finish the synthesis with a conclusion paragraph that covers all of the important ideas. The conclusion should additionally explain how each of the identified themes relates to the essay's main issue. If these activities are related to the topic, you may add your own interpretation of the themes and ideas or suggest areas for further research in this paragraph. Get games like harvest moon and see more about Games.lol here.

    ReplyDelete

  20. Nutri4verve is Best Dietician in India that helps you plan and prepare healthy meals. Nutri4verve offers detailed information on the nutritional content of food so you can make informed choices about what to eat. You'll receive tailored meal plans designed by experts who understand your needs so you can have nutritious yet delicious meals every day, whether at home or on-the-go! Call Now: 088003 39577

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nutri4verve is an Online Dietician that helps you plan and prepare healthy meals. Nutri4verve offers detailed information on the nutritional content of food so you can make informed choices about what to eat; tailored meal plans and recipes designed by qualified nutritionists who know how important it is for every individual's needs; access anywhere in the world so it doesn't matter where life takes you, because with Nutri4verve healthy eating becomes easy! Call Now: 088003 39577

    ReplyDelete

 
site design by Design Chicky (© copyright 2015)